Being a mom is hard work and it is indeed a full time job. Its probably the most rewarding, amazing thing I've ever done in my life. It feels good to know that you're the one that can make the boo-boo all better, can put a smile on that little face, make the nightmares go away. . . The feeling that motherhood stows upon you is just indescribable. Although it wasn't planned, by any means, becoming a mother is the best thing thats happened to me. Before I had Corbin, I really didn't have anything to look forward to. To be honest, my life wasn't really going anywhere. Now I live my life for him. I get to look forward to watching something I created grow into a wonderful young man.
I never in my life thought I would be a teen mother. That I would live paycheck to paycheck, budgeting out diapers, wipes, toys, clothes, snacks, etc. . at the age of 19. Its funny . . Before I got pregnant I would by tonnnnnnnnsss of clothes, makeup, hair products and whatever else at my leisure. . Now every ounce of my money is spent on Corbin. I'm not complaining by any means, shopping for him is far more fun than shopping for me! :) I've never really led the life of your average teenager. Didn't stay out late partying, didn't get in trouble at school or at home (except once). So when I got pregnant it came as a huge shock to everyone. Most girls my age are in college and get to go out on the weekends with their friends. They get to spend their free time doing whatever they want, whenever they want. Only having to worry about taking care of themselves. But I'm not most girls my age. I wake up every 3 and a half hours during the night to nurse my baby, change about million diapers (or so it seems ha ha) a week, and watch about 52 episodes of Spongebob a day. Everywhere I go I have to pack a couple of extra outfits, diapers, snacks, juice, toys, blankets, wipes in my suitcase sized diaper bag and I have to tote around an extremeelllyy heavy car seat (the days of a forward facing car seat are soon to come and I absolutely cannot wait ha ha). I've traded my purse in for my diaper bag that Corbin himself could fit in. . Ha ha. No more cute dangly earrings or necklaces, because they will get yanked off and broken. . Staying up late and waking up late has been swapped for going to bed early and waking up with the chickens. My bedroom is pretty much a hug toy box now.. And you know what, I would never change any of it. I love being a mother and I absolutely adore every little second I get to spend with my son, no matter how many things I had to give up. It was all worth it.
Tuesday night I ordered most of his 1st birthday party supplies. And boy, that was a huge rock lifted off my shoulders even though there's still tons of things that need to be done for his party (thats just a little over a month away). Its such a bittersweet feeling knowing Corbin's going to be one. Its awesome that he's growing up, and I know he will always be my little baby. . But still. . . . Every mom wants their baby to stay a baby forever. <3
Lots of love and baby kisses,
xoCortney
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